Shedding Tears At The Movies: What Are We Really Crying For?

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My Top Ranking Leadership Hero in Mumbai

            Extraordinary acts of leadership come from many sources, rarely in my experience, just from those with the most positional power. Over the years, any leadership coach is likely to develop a private little book, at least in the mind, of their top ranking leaders and today, I want to share with you about my top of the list guy in Mumbai.

But first, imagine for a moment, you are working in your team and after hours of arguing and debating, you finally agree on your plan of action. Then suddenly, from left-field, the CEO does a complete turnabout, reneges on the decision and starts to dictate an entirely different game-plan. What are you likely to do? Will you speak up, will you be silent, or will you do something else?

The psychoanalyst might suggest that it is worth exploring how as a child, you dealt with such turn of events, say at a family mealtime. What this hints at, is the unconscious link between your first team, i.e., your family, its unique culture, are likely to shape your leadership, especially in group moments. Back in your family or origins, did you for example, accept the injustice that your brother took all the cakes, perhaps because you felt you had no choice? Or did you stand up for your rights? Or even yell the house down, or perhaps appear to accept things and act out your anger a little later, in a perverse brand of sabotage, like putting a frog in his bed or something. For those who experienced their parents, i.e. authority, as figures you can never please, whatever you do, how is a child did you cope?  Wander off alone perhaps withdraw at least in a visceral form of agitation even you mouth stayed firmly closed. 

What you actually do now as an adult of course is what matters, being (hopefully) less entangled in the physical, childlike dependence and dynamics of authority, depends of course on the freedom with which you navigated your way towards adulthood.  This involves those dreadful moments of awakening that you don’t always get your own way that you will like the rest of us, suffer losses. In psychoanalysis, this is understood as the “depressive position,” the difficult negotiation of loss of childhood, into adulthood and the trials and tribulations of independence.    

I firmly believe that the challenges of group dynamics, ranging from the small business meeting, to the nation level negotiations, the challenges come from what is evoked in our first group in life, when we were very young, and in our new group, our desperate need to belong.  It seems the world of groups is divided in two: we are wonderfully creative, truly present in the moment, or somewhat back in that family mealtime and most of us swing between the two, neither of us entirely one or the other.

 A few years ago, observing a team like the one I described earlier, just as the CEO did is about-turn, I watched as the largely passive group of men, became utterly silent and pensive, jaws locked tight, as if the headmaster were stood in front of them with a threatening cane. Then finally, the regional head of Asia, who over the years became quite a hero-leader of mine, rose slowly to his full 6ft height, his chin reverently downwards and quietly said, "Just because my lord is not acting as a Lord, does not mean a Samurai should not act like a Samurai."

Immediately, the red-faced CEO apologised and returned to his earlier commitment as agreed. No dull language with all the creativity of a motorbike handbook, no more endless debating and time wasting. The verbal sword was on the table, a line was drawn. What is interesting about his man, as is with all higher levels of leadership, is that his actions were thoughtful, yet entirely based in the particular moment. He did not speak with his mind turned towards the next financial bonus round and what he would or not get.  He did not wonder if he might lose his job, he just powerfully stayed connected to himself, trusting, as I know he does, in a higher faith that always supports truth and purpose.  

When I shared this story with my teenage daughter Emily, that evening, she simply said, with a total lack of surprise, “Yeah mum, sounds like he’s not for sale,” as she continued to eat her Spaghetti Bolognese. If only in business, people would learn to speak as freely as kids. Interestingly, though, timing is again an important element of her response.  In a sense, she is saying “not for sale right now.” The research on higher levels of leadership is bewilderingly contradictory.  On the one hand it is saying “now”, this moment and on the other, thinks beyond this moment, beyond even your own lifetime perhaps.

When I was teenager, the targets of my hero worship, were David Bowie and the activist/playwright, George Bernard Shaw. Both were plastered on the walls of my bedroom. David and George, an odd pair you might think, but on reflection now, I see the common thread; both willing to do something unexpected with words, to create a new story, create movement in the cul-de-sacs of commonplace speaking. Take these Bowie words for instance (it’s Changes, so sing along if you know it): So I turned myself to face me/ But I've never caught a glimpse/ Of how the others must see the faker/I'm much too fast to take that test. Or George Bernard Shaw’s humour: Democracy is a device that ensures we shall be governed no better than we deserve. 

My top ranking leadership hero in Mumbai, head and shoulders above all others is Madhav Subrahmanyam. Madhav is from Bombay, and was recently voted by the UK Guardian newspaper, as one of the top 50 individuals in the world, most likely to save the planet. This leader, for the last 7 years or so, has been working relentlessly to protect the tiger from complete extinction. 100 years ago, there were around 100,000 tigers; today there are less than 3,500. As Bittu Sahgal, one of the leading environmentalist’s in India puts it, “By protecting the tiger, we are protecting India's forest, and we end up protecting our water sources. It’s not just that we say there are no tigers and if there were tigers that would be fine, it’s not that. It’s symptomatic of something much larger, it’s across the world.” The main threat to the tiger, according to Madhav, is humanity: “If humanity will only be humane to a human, then we are using our brains in the worst possible way. Instead of helping other species, we are only trying to advance ourselves. We are encroaching on other species and destroying them.”

Madhav is 13 years old.

As with most extraordinary leaders, not only do Madhav's actions stand out from the crowd, but his use of language, his way of speaking makes you alert, engaged, you just want to listen. You want to know what is coming next, when he speaks, it's vibrant, alive, just like the words of our Samurai man, earlier in this piece it is the sound of transformation.

Madhav started his fund-raising when he was about 8 years old, by first polishing shoes, washing babies (“No nappy changing please,” I remember on his signboard) and arranging flowers, for a few rupees. Compelled by a passion to do more, he went on to start the Madhav Tiger Fund. Encouragement and good quality attention in Madhav’s life, came from Bittu Sahgal (whoops, add another hero to my list), who is also editor of Sanctuary Magazine and runs the educational programme Kids For Tigers, where the two met. Madhav was concerned, whether poachers or the people who protect the animals, the wildlife wardens, get paid more (Poachers sadly of course.) “It’s obvious,” Madhav says, “If there is more money in poaching, that’s what people will do.” So to rectify this, Madhav raises money, and puts the funding towards the schooling of the wildlife warden’s children and providing financial incentives when the wardens go the extra mile to protect specific wildlife.

When Madhav was 9 years old, he played a key role in our film Inside India’s Forests, produced for the Conservation Action Trust in Bombay. The gang of us who made the film were Lizzie de Planta, Pavan Sukhdev, Debi Goenka, Bittu Sahgal and I. Madhav had just raised about 15 thousand U.S. dollars, from making and selling tiger quilts with his mother.

The importance of how the effects of such early attachments in young children’s lives create the sort of adults we become was the subject of a week-long conference at UCLA. Amongst a sea of scientists and psychologists, the Dalai Lama addressed us on the importance of love. In response to asking the audience if there were any questions, a bright young girl, aged about 10 years old I guess, asked him ”Why are you so happy?” He replied, “It is simple, I had a very nice mummy.” The other heroes who deserve our respect are of course, Madhav’s parents, who with enormous dedication have nurtured their son to become a person who truly lives beyond merely his own self-interest, for all species not just humans. His mother, Pavitra Rajaram’s parenting philosophy is as clear as her son’s sense of purpose. She says:

When children see things the way nature intends them to be, they understand that

that's the natural state and that is something as parents we can do very, very easily. Don't take your children to the zoo, don't show them animals behind bars, don't take them to the circus and see elephants and lions jumping through hoops. That's not the way nature intended them to be. Take them to the forest, show them the trees…

Whatever is shaped in childhood, largely by us parents, is our ultimate legacy to the future of this planet. In the boardrooms of tomorrow, we will either have adults with the courage to do the right thing, and stand by deeply held beliefs, knowing what those might be of course, or those for whom my daughter would say, are simply “For sale.” If our children learn from us, that all they need to do, to get what they want, is demand like a toddler, to ignore the views of others, whether it be a person, a tiger or an ant; that is perfectly normal to simply buy whatever they want, or mindlessly destroy something else in order to get it, whatever species that maybe, human or otherwise, we ultimately have put our planet up for sale. Children are oddly wise, they pay attention to what we do, not what we say.

And yet, there is Madhav and others like him, who have a profound sense of personal identity, a strong compass of right and wrong to help him navigate through life's grey areas,  from strong loving attachments with  others, rather than merely towards possessions and other kinds of ownership. There are also many children, who simply need the care of others to flourish in thw way Mahdav has.  Who knows where his incredible passion, his care and his determination will lead. In an interview for Sanctuary magazine, Madhav says, “I want to make an impact on the world’s carbon footprint by working actively to reduce it. I want to do this by making changes in my own life and using my voice to help others make the change too. I want to be a director and use film as a way of exploring and communicating my thoughts and ideas.”

Bittu Sahgal, Madhav’s mentor, has honourably dedicated his life not only to protecting nature and educating children. Advising a young child who was concerned about deforestation, he encouraged her to stand-up and speak, saying that the trees "Simply do not belong to the adults who cut them down.  Its like adults are stealing your pocket money, or your school bag, or anything else that belongs to you, just because they are more powerful." Most importantly, he truly listens to a massive proportion, literally 100’s of 1000s of India's young people, encouraging and really empowering them to have a real voice. Many of whom started out in the Kids for Tiger Club and have gone onto some fantastic occupations in the journalism,  film, and conservation.  

When Madhav’s mother says, we need to consider, “When children see things….,” she reminds us to think deeply about what our kids are actually exposed to, what they feel, what they think. Do our urban children merely see shopping malls, computer games, manicured gardens and expensive hotels, or are they actively nourished by natural living systems, by rivers, by forests and thus truly begin to learn the interconnectedness of all things? What happens right now with leaders of the future will ultimately shape who they become, as well as, their capacity to care for others and all our species. This is the peculiar reality of acts of transformational leadership: it is both completely in the present and yet into the future, beyond one’s own lifetime. 

Perhaps this is why Madhav can teach us that saving the tiger actually means saving ourselves. That makes him my leadership hero.

 
Resources for this article:

There is a great animation about India, the work of Madhav & Bittu by Claus Lundin on youtube, go to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qN9S1JVQzAQ

Sanctuary Magazine Asia, go to: http://www.sanctuaryasia.com/index.php

Kids for Tigers, go to: http://www.kidsfortigers.org/

Conservation Action Trust, go to: http://www.cat.org.in